do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize