i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
