If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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