Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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