So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
