im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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