My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
