overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
