I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
