I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
