I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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