i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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