Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
