I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize