i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
