It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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