His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
