just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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