Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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