did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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