just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
