Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize