Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
