I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
