You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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