Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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