So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
