It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
