i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
