I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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