the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
