chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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