What did we do last night that was yellow?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
