That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
