what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
