Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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