Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
