am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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