you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think a kid would responsible me up
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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