when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
