i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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