you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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