dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
