You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
