Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
