just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
