I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
