I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
