Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
