i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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