i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize