You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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