I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
