I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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