Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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