I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
