I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
