Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
