i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
