I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
