why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
