Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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