Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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