the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
