And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
