your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
