If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
