There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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